Hidden Universe

When you expose yourself to the public during commuting you become a stranger, not just to a fellow stranger but a stranger to yourself. People are sane in public, they are decent and normal. They stare at anything blankly and act as if they don't speak. This observation is a big deal for me because every person is a universe and hiding a universe is really a challenge! 

In public, when I am out commuting I always stick my headphones in my ear because without my music I feel like a zombie and I feel like I am one of the strangers who are acting normal. With my earphones on I feel like I am living in my own universe being happy and free.  Exposing my headphones is just like saying to the public that "hey i'm Camille, and I love music!" hahaha I know that justification is Lame but it's the only way to show a little bit of me out there. And plus when my music is on I smile every once in a while. I don't want to hide a universe because that will make you crazy, at least that's what I think. 

I don't know why I am so obsessed about observing people in public. I am too curious about others lives you know? That's why you don't see me sharing too much about my life because I am just so interested in knowing other people's stories. It makes me see life through their eyes. 

XOXO, Camcam 

a random blog about Tea

Tea is my best-friend. I spend time with it after I eat, while annoying my sisters, while I study, right now while i'm blogging. I love my tea! I do not know why but I feel that my insides are cleansed after drinking my tea. Tea is not that tasty, but I love my tea! Its flavor is blunt, not sweet nor flavorful but I love drinking it.

Thank you Tea!

XOXO, Camcam

The Drifter

How do I live my life? 

EFFORTLESS . .

Well not completely without effort, but the effort that i'm exerting is TOO EASY for me to do. Picture yourself in a situation wherein you love what you are doing, you let the wrong things pass you by and hindrances does not work when you are too busy brisk walking against them. that's my life. I do not know if an effort is necessary when what you are doing is becoming a leisure to you. If life doesn't give you what you want don't force yourself too much to that thing and just move on. I mean, it's simple. right?

But I am a walking contradiction. . . .

When I see that I am not exerting effort, I PANIC and say what if I this comes back to me three-fold when I feel I am not doing anything. What if nothing comes to me? What if I let too many wrong things pass me by and they will eventually haunt me forever?

I am funny right? I try to make everything have sense when I make no sense. I am just paranoid about being too happy or being too sad. Same old paranoia, I am afraid. Everyday, I try not to panic but at the end of the day I always do. I panic at tap tap revenge when I am on the zone, I panic when i'm answering an exam, I panic when i'm in the water, I panic when i'm commuting and I panic when I do the same thing everyday. 

Just call me Panic.

oohhh Eraser of life! please erase Panic off me..

xoxo, camcam 

Nonsense

Why is it that we become so easily comfortable with what is not right or what is not good in our life? The "what is not good" part in our life i'm talking about here are the things that we know we will regret doing in the end. It's just weird that we know or we predict that what we have been comfortably doing will lead to awful endings and yet we continue to set everything aside, and do whatever pleases us. Plus, we get attached to what will waste the time we have here on Planet Earth. It does not make sense!! Well, what's new right? Everything does not make sense. Only love does. (how did Cheesy get in here??)

And this is the annoying part. The things that everybody views as "what makes sense" is a challenge to live with. People hand you that list of what's right or what you think is right and then you find out that what you have been comfortably doing is not on the list is just merely, frustrating. Remember the action of cartoons when they slide their hand from top to the bottom of their faces very slowly looking very disappointed? Well, this is the perfect time to do that gesture. 

I'm just sick of not making sense because of my definition of comfortable.

You see that? I am sick and yet I still do it. FRUSTRATING!

 

It's just that being uncomfortable is REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE..

 

how?,

Chameleon

 

 

 

 

 

Immaturity and what people expect you to be

You may view me as a lost girl who goes through life walking like a crab but everybody, just so we're clear I am 20 yrs. old. 

So recently my sister have been comparing me to this 20 yr. old friend of hers who she calls "mature".  She is always making fun of how I am not my age compared to her friend.(I don't mind though because that's a compliment to me XD) So I rode in her choo choo train and  started saying "Oh, the matured one???" whenever she is telling me stories about her "matured" friend.haha

What is mature? googling.... 

Maturity fully-developed in body and mind.

I admit I am not fully-developed. A juvenile being still developing but stays in the development stage because I believe being fully-developed only exist physically but not mentally. I still have a lot to learn but don't everybody? People may act mature and all with their sophisticated suits and high heels plus their stiff postures but to me they are just people wearing UNCOMFORTABLE formal clothes because that's the requirement wardrobe of mature people. My clothes may not be mature and I may act immature but I am retaining the right amount of mature. I call it "filtering society's definition of maturity". 

If society's definition of maturity includes speaking with a low tone, wearing a suit and acting normal might as well let them make robots and then commit genocide. I trampled on that definition, cooked it, and fed it to my dogs, gathered my dogs crap and buried it underground and I let it act as my fertilizer at least in that way it is very much useful. Manipulating me into something I am not ei society?? Well, that will never happen! bwahaha! ha 

Some say being matured means knowing what to do next, having a plan, being independent and being responsible for whatever path you choose. Now that part of maturity, I would gladly hug and accept. I have seen adults that may look matured on the outside but immature on the inside. Immature in such a way that they are short-tempered, starts getting jealous, and the most immature of all... act matured. 

And ofcourse there are parts of immaturity that I like but there are parts that just disappoints me take this part of immaturity for example. 

Yesterday during my enrollment , the two girls beside me was talking about material stuff and gossip. The other girl was saying "I have perfumes that are shifted from the U.S. it's 1000 pesos" then her friend replied "give me one too" then she said "I am sorry but my Mom is using it also" and then gossip then material stuff again then gossip then material stuff. That is my definition of immaturity. When all you live for is sniffing perfumes and gossiping about the lives of other people. They still have yet to learn. I would like to shake them and open their eyes for there are so many important and much interesting things to talk about. It is like they are wasting the creative part of their brain and eventually it may not exist anymore for what you dont use eventually fades away. Like the legs and feet of whales for example. A long time ago they live on land and water but since most of the time they spend all their lives in water their legs and feet eventually  do not develop anymore because they do not use it, they evolved into a fish-like mammal. You see what I mean??? Soooo many interesting facts to talk about!!!hahaha 

The immature part that I retained is being silly, goofy, being implusive and wearing comfortable clothes (I dont get why this is immature?). Silliness is fun. It makes you endless. It triggers the creative part of you. If everything is serious in your life it's depressing. Being impulsive is an adventure. Being goofy is entertaining and wearing comfortable clothes is comfortable. 

Now this question arises.. Can creativity and maturity coexist? 

At this point I am curious if people actually wasted time writing about "How to be mature" googling... 

http://www.wikihow.com/Be-a-Mature-Teenager

This is very important. Record yourself and a friend having a conversation for 10 minutes or so and then play it back to yourself. Do you hear that?

• How many times did you squeal?
• How many times did you use the word "like".
• Try talking slower and in a somewhat deeper voice. Try avoiding using words that you use in conversation with your friends. See if you can find words that mean the same but sound more mature.
• Try to keep your breathing slow and steady. Don't get too excited while talking, stay focused.

WHAT?!

like XOXO Chameleon

P.S. googling "how to be mature" is immature . . reading "how to be mature" is provoking immature people to stay immature. . why? Depending on google to solve your problems is immature... and if you read and follow how to be matured and ACT matured.. you are still immature.. 

Pure people, Me people

This morning, I decided to read the newspaper and find something interesting to wake myself up. I then found this. 

I always thought of Igorots as uncivilized tribes that I felt sorry for. The world around them had already moved on from making bahay kubos and build skyscrapers instead. They on the other hand, stay as they are and continue to use simple things like twigs and plants, which what they believe are the only necessary things that are used to survive. Their clothes are long strips of hand-woven loin cloth called “Wanes” for boys and “Lufid” for girls. I am lucky to be here right now and own conventional clothes because their clothes, let's just say, would gather too much attention. Imagining them doing their daily routine makes me want to show this laptop and describe what it is used for. 

  

But wait, where do the things that I have right now come from? And where do the Igorots get the idea to live like this? Sadly, the things that I am using right now are from another country. My phone is from, I don’t know China maybe? And this laptop well, I’m pretty sure it is not made in the Philippines.  My clothes are American-inspired and the language that I am using right now is also American-inspired. Well, might as well call me a mix-breed influenced by different countries. I am a mongrel in the dog world.

A little information about Igorots: (copied from: amerigorot.blogspot.com)

1. Language: Igorots speak their own languages (Bontoc, Ibaloy, Kanakanaey, Kalinga etc.)
2. Culture & Colonization: Igorots were not conquered by Spain. The Igorot’s ability to keep from being colonized by Spaniards for more tham 300 years allowed their culture to stay preserved to this day.    
3. Government: Igorots of the Cordilleras have their own autonomous government
4. Food: Igorot food is considered indigenous with little influence from other countries
5.          Clothing: Traditional clothing for men & women are clearly distinct and bears no Spanish influence

Igorots are pure tribes. They refused to conform, when Spanish colonization took place. They stood still while everything is developing into a world that has been taken over by technology. I think if I give my clothes to them they will make it a burning medium for cooking. They don’t care about what the latest trend is, or the new Iphone that recently came out (which I wouldn't mind buying if I have money, it has Siri voice input!eep). Looking at their culture, makes me feel like a girl who has no true identity. They are the original Filipinos. How… do…. They…. Do…. That? I think from their view, they feel sorry for us.

Needless to say, I admire them. If they are the true Filipino then what am I?
hmmm.... Now I don’t mind wearing “Lufid” when I go out.



Chameleon

Most of the time all you need is... humor

So I am currently struggling and I couldn't find the right words to type what has been going around my head lately. The words that have been going around are humor, laugh, night, Jason Mraz, smile, trip, and funny. I have been going around the house finding a good spot to blog, and then I end up here, and "here" is still not a good spot because the peep outside is complaining about her life. Owkay she stopped... 

If you didn't know I've been on a TRIP these past few days. We flew to Legazpi City the home of the beautiful Mayon Volcano. I was a little nervous in the plane because of my awareness that I am 20,000 ft. above the ground. My mind is ancient and it is not used to airplanes. 

ANYWAYS!haha

I just want to share what I have observed while overhearing mom and dad talking last night. Yeah yeah, my parents were my roommates in Donsol. I just couldn't sleep without them. Get over it!haha  Anyways that observation was just bring your HUMOR and you're all set!

 JASON MRAZ once shared how some people tends to judge his music based on the melody, the tone of his voice or how well he performs but once he starts making people LAUGH, everyone forgets how they should judge his music, but people starts to just go with the flow of the melody and just enjoy it. While watching him explain that at first, I didn't get it. I mean I wasn't crazy about the idea but I just took it as words. And then last night happened, I was eavesdropping while mom and dad was having a conversation at 2am! I couldn't sleep because Mom was laughing. Dad was sharing how Hannah wasn't happy about something. Then Mom was all "it's all your fault!" then Dad said "Yeah it was my fault, while you are here in the room already sleeping I was talking and comforting Hannah" Then Mom simply laughed. I was laughing on the inside too but I didn't show them because that would ruin their moment. 

That is when I understood Jason Mraz. I think it is innate how we just look for a hole about something when we shouldn't. But laughter, best shifts the way to that hole and lead us towards where we should go. I can't help but SMILE while acting asleep. But I've decided to open my eyes and show them that I was awake after that. I saw a cockroach on the ceiling and showed them both. Dad attempted to kill it with his slipper. I was under the sheets the whole time. Just as i've thought that it was safe to open my blanket, the cockroach initiated its flying powers and I screamed at 2:30am. Everything was FUNNY! 

Making jokes calms people. It is calming in such a way that, it makes you not worry about problems or simply make you not care and kills whatever unhealthy thing  you are thinking. I think the best way to not think about something too hard is to make yourself laugh. I am at my best when I am around funny people. I take life less serious and enjoy the present. If you spend too much time judging life, you are dead.

I always notice during serious talks where people talk about frustrations, achievements, reasons, and stuff on the dark side you end up thinking too much which is really depressing or you end up comparing yourself to other people. An example is a guy sharing how he is a president of their society and he is awarded best leader or something you end up comparing yourself to him. Making yourself inferior and not talk. You will then think, why did I not become president like him? or why is it that I haven't achieved something great in my life?. Which is just sad. Talks like that are not fun at all. It makes you bring out the feeling wherein you know it exist but you just want to get rid of it. And because of people sharing too much about how they hate life or bragging about how life for them is too good it triggers a disliked emotion which will ruin the time you have here.

All i'm saying is just make more room for laughter and less room for unnecessary emotions. You will be surprised how simple life is.

xoxo,

Chameleon